House Rules for Giant Alien Robots
by DreamingRealitysLies
Summary: If you though being friends with highly advanced giant alien robots was all fun and games you'd be half right but with Sam and Miles it's crazy fun but not so much when they're the ones writing down all the rules for every little to not so little thing going right or wrong.


Ok first neither I nor my friend who helped me make this own the Transformers, if we did we'd be rich.

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#1._** No** _horror movie marathons. **_AT ALL._**

_Miles: Long story short... some of the bots... thought it was real and..._

_Sam:...the base was in complete lock down...Bee wouldn't even let me out of his sights!_

_Miles: and then Wheeljack saw that one movie... what was it called?... Frienkenstein, I think... yeah. And he tried making his own Frienkenstein bot.._

_Sam: *Shudders* I am so glad Ratchet put a stop to that before 'Jack could get away with it..._

_Miles: and then Red Alert... he might have reacted the worst. Seeing those horror films and just those nascar races when the cars crashed. The mech went nuts! Fortunately Ratchet and Inferno got him to calm down..._

_Sam: Who thought it was a good idea to have a horror movie marathon?_

_Miles: I can't remem-... wait a second... it was those Lambo twins, wasn't it? Optimus was right to be Cautious..._

#2: Keep the Autobot's away from _**all** _social websites. _**ALL OF THEM.**_

_Miles: Another Facebook war between the Bots and Cons is not necessary... Optimus agrees..._

_Sam: If I had met the 'Bots in Facebook I'd hate to imagine meeting the 'Cons in there too._

_Miles: Yeah... I actually got a friend request from that one con they call Starscream. Before I could press anything one of those error messages popped up and told me my computer would self-destruct in less than a minute if I didn't except the request... I had to have Percepter, Ratchet, AND Wheeljack in my room to shut it off..._

_Sam: I had a hard time trying not to freak when I couldn't block Megatron Facebook. I think that was Soundwave's doing..._

_Miles: yeah... the bots aren't the only ones who've had to battle the cons... I've had a fight with Blackout... over the internet... but if he would've been in front of me, I would have scrapped him!_

_Sam: What was the fight about?_

_Miles: uh...well it started out with him just threatening me and it led to just throwing insults back and forth... and we had a... roleplay fight... but... well... ya know... same thing, right?_

_Sam: I don't think that's how it works..._

_Miles: well... it was close to a fight, man... right?... I could've beat that walking junk pile anyway... Just forget about it. What's the next rule, Sam?_

#3 _**No**_ blasting music early in the morning or _**AT AN UNGODLY HOUR.**_

_Sam: As effective as it is to get everyone up and out of bed...SOME OF US LIKE SLEEP THANK YOU VERY MUCH!_

_Miles: Earmuffs don't even work! I don't know which is worse! Ironhide coming to wake everyone up, or that music! I mean, usually I don't mind it... but to wake me up!? Not cool..._

_Sam: I envy the ones who can sleep through anything._

_Miles: I don't know how they do it! I've never heard anything louder than those guys' music before..._

#4 Keep any and all video games out of sight.

_Miles: I don't think Prime minds them as much, but Prowl sure does... Optimus just wants us-well the bots to be more focused on Decepticon activity more so than games... but Prowl goes crazy if he catches you playing a video game of any kind... but the twins and a few others sometimes manage to keep them hidden.._

_Sam: and those who can't keep them hidden Prowl confiscates them where its fragging hard to get them back._

_Miles: Once Bee got one of his games taken away, so he wanted Sam and I to go get it for him... mostly because we're smaller and can get to spots most bots can't... he wanted us to sneak into Prowl's office... PROWL'S!_

_Sam: Never doing THAT again, no matter who begs us to. Prowl: Never doing what again? Sam: Nothing!_

_Miles: Nope. Nope. Nothing at all... nothing to see here... just two dudes writing down some rules..._

_Prowl: *Looks at them suspiciously* Hmm...carry on then._

_Miles: you got it Prowl, sir! *smiles innocently; waits until he leaves; sighs in relief*_

_**#5 NEVER AGREE TO ANY OF WHEELJACK'S EXPERIMENTS. PERIOD.**_

_Sam: Does this rule even need a caption?_

_Miles: naaah... I don't think so... if anyone is dumb enough to say yes... it's their funeral..._

_Sam: If asked by said walking time bomb mech. Decline and run the opposite direction if you value your life._

_Miles: yes, that about sums it up... hmm... alright. Next rule._

_#6 If the Lambos haven't been prankng for a while be very afraid._

_Sam: And if they have their eye-erm optic on you it's best that you run. Leave base, better yet leave the state all together and pray they don't get you._

_Miles: or just hang around with Optimus or maybe even Ratchet the rest of the day. They won't dare mess with the boss bot, and if you hide with Ratchet, they're likely to get him instead... for some reason they enjoy pranking him the most out of everyone..._

**#7 _NEVER_ piss of Ratchet. Period.**

_Sam: And if he's mad and you are in desperate need of repairs best you suck it up and wait for Ratchet to be less angry and possibly homicidal. Concerning if he's angry about being pranked by a certain pair of pranking Lambo Twins._

_Miles: Yeaaah... it's usually those two who piss him off... and so the Hatchet and his trusty wrench of doom come into the picture... avoid getting hit with that wrench... when he's angry, he'll throw it at anyone.. and I mean ANYONE..._

_Sam: Poor Optimus took a hit for me when I came in the Med Bay at the wrong time, I should have put two and two together when I saw the Lambos run out giggling madly._

_Miles: oh and that reminds me. Do-_

_Sunstreaker: *grins; peeks in the room*_

_Sideswipe: You two wouldn't know where Ratchet hid the pink paint, would ya?_

_Miles: Uh..._

_Sam: N-no?_

_Sides: Ya sure about that? *smirks*_

_Sunny:*grins wide; then squints*_

_Miles: N-no. We don't, I swear! Try the med Bay or Prowl's office_

_Sam: Y-yeah! He should be there._

_Sunny:*growls* it better be there... or we'll be back for you... *glares; but turns and starts down all* Come on, Sideswipe._

_Sides: *cackles; follows*_

_Miles: Phew... that was close!... er... anyway, onto number 8..._

#8 _**NEVER STEAL FROM RATCHET. PERIOD.**_

_Sam: If you wanna live to see the next day follow this rule._

_Miles: yes... and if you do manage to steal his wrench... then one, I'm surprised you managed to get that far... and two, it was a victory ever small, because he has several more wrenches…_

_Sam: I wonder if whoever does this just for the laughs or they're just that brave. Or Stupid._

_Miles: *whispers* well honestly, the only two mechs dumb enough to do that... are the twins... so..._

_Sam: They're hopeless._

_Miles: I'm afraid so... there is no helping them..._


End file.
